I was just peeing outside when a raccoon scared the shit outta me! (I would say scared the piss outta me except I had just finished peeing thus there was no more pee inside of me that could be scared out.)
I pee outside sometimes because it's better for the environment than wasting 1.5-1.6 gpf [gallons per flush].
Back to the raccoon, well I guess I was just gonna say it ran away super fast... So back to my peeing outside, it's 3am and I've had a couple beers—if I wanna take a pee outside I can take a goddamn pee outside!
I'm deleting this when I wake up in the morning (early afternoon) so shout out to whoever sees it on my obscure ass website that I struggle to find material for because a post-grad life consisting of making small talk with your parents for the mere sake of trying to emulate social interaction in order to fool your brain into thinking your life didn't end with that stupid fucking waltz across the stage does little to elicit anything other than depressing material. Also double shout out to whoever followed that sentence.
Shoulda joined the mob.