The Phenomenal '04

You’re standing next to the computer, iPod, or miscellaneous music player at your friend’s college house party when the resident in charge of the music selection has to take a tinkle, yack his brains out, or pursue that hawt chick he talked to twice in philosophy class. Silence… What just happened? You’re now on DJ duty.

Fear immediately sets in as responsibility for the party’s audio selection and general vibe now falls squarely on your shoulders. You don’t want to be the butthead that ruins the party, so you ask yourself, “What song do I put on?”

Option A: Play that new song that you’ve had on repeat in your head since you discovered it three days ago. This option gives you the obvious benefit of hearing the song you’ve been bumping lately, and perhaps becoming the one prophetic individual that enlightens the masses with a revolutionary new jam, you just found on Joints and Cheese. On the flip side, you run the risk of nobody having any idea what is playing or the crowd not feeling it. It’s a high-risk, high-reward situation, but one you may be willing to entertain based on your confidence in the song and/or blood-alcohol content.

Option B: Play the song atop the radio charts currently. Odds are the ladies in attendance know all the words and will sing along, and whether guys like it or not, they are used to hearing it. You are unlikely to make a statement – a lost opportunity to assert your awesomeness – with this selection, but its popularity and prevalence makes it a smaller risk than swinging for the fences with Option A.

While both Option A and B are viable choices, Option C holds The Secret to keeping everyone grooving and partying away.

Option C: It may be by some statistical anomaly that music from this year was simply superior, or it may be that the songs stir up fond memories of awkward middle school dances for current collegiates whom are still nostalgic about the days when grinding would land them a trip the principal’s office… but the sole low-risk, high-reward pick is Hip-Hop from 2004.

Even a small sample of chart toppers from ’04 reveals what those keen to The Secret already knew: there are no shortage of sure thing jams from the 2004 Hip-Hop/R&B crop.

Usher – Yeah!

Terror Squad – Lean Back

Twista ft. Kanye West & Jamie Foxx – Slow Jamz

J-Kwon - Tipsy

Kelis - Milkshake

Ludacris – Stand Up

Lil Jon & The Eastside Boyz – Get Low

Chingy – Holidae Inn

Murphy Lee – Wat Da Hook Gon Be

Kevin Lyttle – Turn Me On

This is not to say that the surplus of excellent track in 2004 overshadow any and all other potential jams. What's important here though is the high density longevity that 2004 has brought us. And for that we thank you.

Bro-chievement Award: Jimmy Kimmel

Jimmy Kimmel, I would like to award you with a "Bro-chievement Award" for your fantastic job on calling out and making a fool of Jay Leno on his own show. I don't think I have ever laughed harder watching Jay Leno... so congratulations.

To give some context: Jay Leno is a douche-bag. A huge douche-bag. If you weren't aware of what went down with Leno and Conan O'Brien, I'll give you the basic gist: Back in '04, O'Brien and Leno made a deal that O'Brien would take over the Tonight Show in '09. When '09 rolled around, O'Brien took Leno's post at the Tonight Show and Leno moved to a prime-time slot. Unfortunately, Leno's primetime slot tanked and had abysmal viewership. Now Leno, being the fat-chinned douche bag he is decided to go back to his 11:30 slot and push O'Brien's "Tonight Show" to 12:05. This was such a douchey move because how can you push "The Tonight Show" out of its classic 11:30 spot into... tomorrow? It wasn't Conan's fault that Leno couldn't provide the ratings for a primetime show that he had chosen to start.

Jimmy Kimmel, being the bro that he is decided to take to fellow late-night host O'Brien's side and call Leno out for his douch-iness on his on show. Check out the video above for one of the greatest moments in "Bros Helping Out Other Bro's" history. It is truly classic.

---Karl Ryan (@karlmcdougerson)

Watch This Film: Carnage

I just watched this Roman Polanski film a couple of days ago and am pleased to say it was awesome. It is based upon a French play called "God of Carnage"  by Yasmin Reza. This screwball comedy is centered around two couples who meet to discuss how one of the couples sons assaulted the other's son at a playground one afternoon. 

The conversation that ensues between the couples as they discuss this event is hysterical and nothing short of brilliant. This film allows each member of the ensemble cast to exercise their acting skills accordingly and each does so in their own unique manner. Jodie Foster plays an eager-to-please liberal mom, while Kate Winslet is the foil to Foster, playing an uptight woman. John C. Reilly is hysterical as the laid-back dad contrasting with Christoph Waltz's performance as an apathetic business man. 

As the movie goes on, the dialogue becomes increasingly absurd and events get out of hand. By the midway point when John C. Reilly breaks out the Scotch you almost want to pour a glass of booze for yourself and join in on the fun--it is infectious. It is fun to see all of these actors come together in a piece that allows them to individually showcase their acting skills. I highly recommend you check out this film, it is available now for rental. Check out the trailer after the jump.